Giving, or not

As I was at a stoplight on my way home today, there was a woman on the street corner with a sign asking for money.  She was trying to make eye contact and waving to cars as they were stopped, waiting for the light to change.

If you live in, or have ever visited, Seattle, you know that this is not an uncommon sight.  Especially in downtown Seattle and Pioneer Square, chances are that you’ve experienced just how aggressive our panhandlers can be.

Over the years, I’ve gotten pretty good and becoming a passerby that doesn’t get hassled by the panhandlers and beggars.  However, I do not pass them without feeling guilty.  It may be the Catholic upbringing or the lessons learned in my Religious studies classes, but there’s a part of me that feels selfish for not stopping, not giving a little something.  After all, while I may not be rolling in money, I have enough to eat and a little extra to buy some fun things.

I spend money on clothes I’ll never wear, food I’ll never eat, and presents that I’ll forget to give.  Yet, I can never seem to bring myself to give a little when someone asks.  I know part of it is because I don’t like to talk to people I don’t know.  It has nothing to do with them begging, it’s simply because I don’t know them.  But another part of it is because they are asking for money.  I think that I work hard for the money I have, why should I just give it away to someone?

I have yet to find the perfect balance between my fear of people, Catholic sense of giving, and greed of holding onto my money.  I’m not sure that I’ll ever find the perfect balance, but I wouldn’t mind if it started to lean away from greed.