Slow Turning

Like the song says, you can learn to live with love or without it

Enlightenment or Acceptance?

leave a comment »

With all of this time off, I’ve spent a lot of time both thinking about who I am, who I want to be, and what I should be doing.  And you know what?  Thinking about me sucks.  It has yet to produce any meaningful insight; I either think I’m worthless or on the brink of brilliance.  Instead of filling better about myself, the self-reflection makes me feel worse, less confident, less sure.  And whenever I feel less than, I withdraw and push people away.  This past week, though, I did the exact opposite.  I reached out and spent time with friends.

It was exactly what I needed.  I was reminded that for as much as I want to be self-sufficient and like to think of myself as “on my own,” I’m not.  Connecting with friends, with people I know that really care about me, was rejuvenating.  I’ve said before that I’m a dreamer, and my friends keep me grounded; they remind me that I’m not just going through the motions, that I have support when I need it the most.

The time with my friends lead me to the conclusion that I’m better off avoiding any type of prolonged self-reflection. I’m much better, at least happier, when I’m busy and on the go.  Some people may revel in thinking about themselves, but to my core, I am at my best when I’m thinking about someone else.


Pain gives me the right to be unkind.








Written by rachel

September 30, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Posted in Life, Ponderings

Tagged with ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: