Slow Turning

Like the song says, you can learn to live with love or without it

The Friendship Path

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Over the past couple of days there have been a couple of things that have me thinking about friendships.

The Evolutions of a Friend by Jeffery Todd

This got me thinking about how I interact with my friends, which led me to think of my friendships in 3 categories:

1.    Friends I Grew Up With

I grew up in a small town where everyone knows you, your family, and your family history.  I use the term friend loosely when I talk about people from my hometown because they’re people I’ve always known and can never remember how we met.  While everyone’s a friend, there are a few people I stay in touch with. These are the friends that remind me of the line from Bon Jovi’s song Blood on Blood: Through the years and miles between us it’s been a long and lonely ride, But if I got that call in the dead of the night, I’d be right by your side.

It doesn’t matter if it’s minutes or years that we go without seeing each other, because when we get together, it’s like no time has passed.  Our lives, and the world we live in can change, but the way we are when we’re together never does.  It’s what I love most about these friends.  I don’t know if we laughed more when we were 7, 13, 16, 25, or now.  But the best thing is, no matter what, we always laugh.

2.    Friends From College

Before I started college, I never thought I’d find better friends than the ones I was leaving.  When I left college, I couldn’t imagine going though it without the friends that I made.  I feel like I became an adult with my college friends.  We came from different places but bonded as we struggled, stumbled, and grew into our independence.  It was a shared experience that bonded us and I learned that lifelong friendships can be forged over cafeteria food, house parties, and ice storms.

3.    Friends From Work

I love Seattle.  I really, really love Seattle.  I describe it as a big small town because parts of it, like the neighborhood I live, remind me of my hometown.  But because there are such tight knit communities where everyone has known each other forever and a day, it can be hard to make new friends.  If you’re single, it’s even harder because you’re on your own.  However, I got lucky.  My co-workers, everywhere I’ve worked, have become my friends.  These are the only friends I’ve made in Seattle and I’ve come to appreciate how rare this is, not everyone who works together becomes friends.

The first time I ever visited Seattle, I felt a connection.  It felt like I was coming home as I made the drive over Lake Washington.  However, I couldn’t have created a life here without the friends that I have made.

Love Will Find A Way by Barbara Freethy

This book is about secrets and how well we know the people in our lives.  I’m going through such an odd reflective, melancholy, self-doubting phase, that it made me think about my own relationships.

I wonder how many of my friends, or family, have secrets that they’re too afraid to tell.  Do they feel alone?  Do they have something to share?  Do they just need to talk to someone? I wouldn’t care if a friend wanted to keep something private, but I would be devastated if they needed help and didn’t feel like they could ask for it.

While I don’t think I take my friendships for granted, I wonder if I don’t maintain them as much as I should because we’ve been friends for so long.  The last thing that I want is for a friend to feel neglected.  On the flip side, I don’t want to be too needy and take up all of their time.  I don’t want to force, or burden, someone with friendship.

I love my friends and family but I never tell, or show, them.  I just expect them to know.  That could be what hit home with me about the story.



Written by rachel

September 15, 2012 at 2:00 am

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