Slow Turning

Like the song says, you can learn to live with love or without it

Day 9: Stretching

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Instead of walking around the ‘hood or dogs, I did my pilates video.

I finished Passport through Darkness: A True Story of Danger and Second Chances by Kimberly L. Smith last night.  It made feel inspired and insignificant.  It’s such an unbelievable story that I can’t imagine being that brave.  In the end, I think that’s what I lack, bravery.  I’m too scared to try.

I am unfulfilled with my life as it is.  I’ve always known that I work hard, but I feel like it’s all in vein. Nothing I do matters.  It doesn’t make the world a better place or even make me happy.  I’m just not sure what I can do that can fill that void.  I don’t even know how to begin the search.

How do you find bravery and courage when you’re scared, when you’re missing love? 

I’ve always been afraid of becoming dependent on someone else for my happiness, and yet I think that’s what I need the most right now. Someone who will tell me they love and everything will be alright.  Someone who will let me cry and wipe away the tears. Someone who will hold me and let me hold onto them.

I feel sad because I don’t know who can do this for me.

I feel less than because I think I need someone else to help me.

I feel ashamed because I know it’s selfish to feel sorry for myself.

This is the song I’m singing, I’m just not sure who to:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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