Slow Turning

Like the song says, you can learn to live with love or without it

My Brother

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According to Facebook it’s brother/sister week so you’re supposed to post a picture of you with your brother and/or sister. As I searched for pictures, I realized that I don’t have any recent photos of just me and my brother. Most of the pictures I have are of me and my nephews. In fact, one of the most recent pictures of my brother and I include his brother-in-law!

So I went searching through my files and photo albums and found the perfect picture to commemorate this week on Facebook. It’s a picture from my high school graduation that includes me, my brother, Jesse, and Cole. Jesse and I were the graduates, Josh and Cole our little brothers.

Looking at that picture brings back so many memories. This June will mark 15 years since I crossed that stage to get my hard-earned, and might I add very deserving, diploma. This summer will also be mark the 15th anniversary of Jesse’s passing. It happened the last weekend before I left for college and profoundly affected those closest to him, especially my little brother.

My first inclination was to stay home and close to my brother, but somehow I knew that was not the right thing to do. His journey took him in one direction, and mine taught me how to let go. It wasn’t easy. I prayed every day and became more confident that I didn’t love him any less for not trying to stop him from doing things I didn’t agree with. Rather it was because I loved him so much, that I had to let him find his own way. The priest in my church would always say, “Let go and let God.” I never understood what it meant, until I had to do it. In some ways, it was the most freeing thing I ever did. It taught me to love and accept without judgment.

Josh, Me, Jesse, Cole


Written by rachel

February 3, 2010 at 11:41 pm

Posted in Life

Tagged with , , ,

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